Look into a mirror… what do you see? A reflection is just an echo being tossed back at you, so how do you see yourself? What is your perspective?… is it even real?

I had to answer that for myself… and what I saw?… was a perfectionist. Not someone perfect but someone who always strived to be. My whole life I’ve tried to “catch up”, to prove to people I was capable. But capable of what?  Looking back, I can see that I was always capable. Capable of doing my job, capable of starting a new relationship. I told myself that I had faults and imperfections…but they were illusions.

The one thing I learned this year is that striving for perfection can about kill you… and yes, I mean that literally!

So why do we do it? Why do we strive so hard to be “Perfect”? … and don’t say that you don’t. Cause we are all striving for more.

More out of life, more out of ourselves, more out of our looks, even more out of our partners (who we can’t control!).

The problem with perfection is that the finish line is always moving.  The marathon keeps getting longer and the goal is always further up ahead.

Things will be perfect when I find my new job, once I find the “one” my life will change, after I go to the gym for a few months I’ll feel my best …and on and on

What I realize is that the “now” is what matters!

I had to surrender and forgive myself for not being perfect. Because I’m not and I never will be… I am officially imperfect. I have scars internally and externally.

No, I didn’t appreciate what I had until it was literally taken away.  After suffering my stroke my goal of perfection is just to be normal. To talk the way I used to talk and write the way I used to write. The idea of perfection lead me back to the start of who I was before…Yes, God has a sense of humor. Lesson learned.

So I accept… I am flawed, I’m damaged, I’m lacking… and yet I’m ok and still very much capable.

And to me, that’s perfect.

(write me a comment about your idea of perfection.  What do you see when you look in the mirror?)